Ho Ho Ho! How do I get myself into these things?

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had been asked to play Santa at a local Nursery. It seemed ages away when I agreed to it but now it’s tomorrow.



I'm hoping the big chair is for me
I’m hoping the big chair is for me

I am just hoping I can get through it without any of the kids recognising me. I don’t want to be the “Santa” who gives the game away.




The baby Jesus being black is a twist to the tale….



So the plan is:


Ho Ho Ho

Who’s been good this year?


Ho Ho Ho

Merry Christmas



Wish me luck………



Well that was fun.

Around an hour before I was due to leave the house I started to get quite nervous. I got to the nursery at 9:30 as planned. Their nativity was due to start at 9:30 and I was due on at 9:50. One of the wise men hadn’t turned up and the start was delayed by around 40 minutes. No one had told me when I arrived that there was a delay so I got into the Santa costume straight away. I was using the upstairs bathroom to change.

It was so hot upstairs and I was getting pretty hot in the beard, wig, hat and costume. It was quite uncomfortable. Finally I heard “We wish you a merry Christmas” coming to an end downstairs which was my cue and I made my way to the stairway that reached the hall right outside the room the Nativity was in.

I walked into the room and stopped in my tracks. It was PACKED. There were around 70 people in there! Nothing was as I had seen it in my head and for a second I froze. I told myself, “just give a big HO HO HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS” and wing it from there.

So I made my way through the crowd at the back of the room. Everyone had stopped talking and turned round as I entered.

I put my arms out wide and boomed, ” HO HO HO HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

For fuck sake.


It wasn’t really salvageable but I added, “….but let’s get Christmas out of the way first! ”


I walked to the front of the room where all the kids were sat on the floor looking up at me. One little girl burst into tears and screamed.


After that it more or less went OK. I handed out the presents and got the hell out of there. On the plus side at least no one will be asking me to do it next year!


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